Friday, May 29

Fading Away

We swing between burning out,
fading away
and getting worn out with time.

It used to be mad love now we’ve got bad blood. 

I can’t pretend that I’m happy cause you know I am not, I can’t pretend that I still want this cause you know what the truth is, I can’t pretend that everything is fine, because pretending is, and will never be my thing. I am hurting as much as you are, I badly want to end this, I want to cut the ropes but I don’t have the courage to cut it, I can’t stand the fact that I’m the one causing this drama but from day one you know how honest I am, you know how transparent I am, the spark is gone, the love we shared is starting to fade away, we are both bleeding and we are both losing this battle. 

Slowly fading away; slipping out of my grasp, out of my hand … out of my heart.

We move too fast, we are both reckless, we are too in love and that love blinded us, we close our eyes from the things that can actually destroy us, we are not prepared for it and the inevitable startled us, one day it blows up in our faces and leaves us petrified, we no longer know what to do.

Things just ain't the same
And I'm ready for change
Can't you see that you're

Fading away?

  I opened up my eyes, and I finally realized
Today, today, it's too late
You're fading away ...

I just want to think things over, I want to breathe. I exerted too much of everything and because of that, I have nothing more to give. I’m exhausted, it’s like I am in a relationship with myself, I can’t feel your existence; your love, but I don’t want to come up with an abrupt decision, a decision that I might regret in the end, so I’m giving you, us, a chance.  A chance to repair whatever it is that was substantially damaged, a chance to resolve our issues so that we both can face the intricacy of life and the life ahead of us. 

I’m clinging on to the tiny bead of love inside my heart, one last tiny breath that keeps me from drowning in a world without you, I don’t want to walk away, without looking back and not even trying to save what has once become my everything. I am being positive about this but the thought that someday I might look into your eyes and feel nothing, like absolutely nothing, terrifies me, somehow I always want to feel the undeniable connection the two of us have, I want to feel your happiness and your pain, your animosity and your love, just by merely looking into your eyes, and I think that thought pushes me to hold on, we have a connection that no one can understand. I hope our love that is crumbling down will eventually recover because deep down I know, YOU ARE WORTH THE FIGHT.


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